Wondering how to boost your marital wellbeing? There are many factors that contribute to the state of a marriage relationship. In fact, it’s a combination of your wellbeing both as individuals, and as a couple.
If you’re ready to work together to make your marriage better than ever, then we’ve gathered some things you can do right now to start seeing positive changes. Let’s jump in with Dr. Les and Leslie Parrott!
How you and your spouse see yourselves contributes to your overall wellbeing, both as individuals and as a couple. Our happiness in marriage is influenced by how we see ourselves, and how well we accept one another for who we are. It’s important that you regularly check in with how you see yourself, and whether you’re being true to who you really are.
Exercise: Take some time to each journal about who you are, and who you want to be. Then, compare notes. How can each of you help one another reach a healthier self-perception moving forward?
Shared activities and shared time can nurture your relationship and add tremendously to its wellbeing. If you haven’t taken a look at the amount of time you’re spending together in a while, it’s time to revisit that. Simply being together more, giving each other your undivided attention, can work wonders for your marriage.
Exercise: Get out your calendars and set aside a little time to look at your availability. Are there times during the week that you’re missing out on? Find small pockets of time to really focus on one another. Additionally, schedule some date nights in advance. Work intentionally to make time together, and your effort will pay dividends.
Do you intentionally try to “walk in your spouse’s shoes”? Empathy allows you to see situations from your spouse’s perspective, though it isn’t always easy. Practicing empathy means you are taking special care to look at circumstances not only from your perspective, but from theirs, as well.
Exercise: Take turns talking to each other about issues that are weighing on your heart. Then, echo back what you understand that your spouse is trying to convey to you. Be receptive to one another’s feedback. This exercise will help you get a better understanding of your spouse’s perspective.
Do you feel as though you can fully trust your spouse? Can your spouse trust you? Checking in with your trust level is an important step in determining the wellbeing of your relationship.
Exercise: On your own, consider any ways that you might boost your spouse’s ability to trust you. Do you need to make simple adjustments, like sharing your computer passwords? Check in more often during the work day? Clarify a past breach of trust that might be affecting your relationship now?
While you’re a couple, it’s important to tend to your sense of autonomy, too. Each spouse in a marriage needs to feel fully seen and supported as an individual. Likewise, it’s important for us to have our own healthy sense of individuation–the sense that helps us feel comfortable being who we are and pursuing our goals freely.
Exercise: Share one important life goal you’ve each been wanting to go for, but felt afraid to pursue. Take some time to talk through why that goal might make you feel fearful or hesitant, and work together to affirm one another in the process. Then, see if you can land on some solutions for helping one another pursue those dreams.
Check out our upcoming book, Strengthen Your Marriage, which features the SYMBIS+ Assessment for married couples. If you’re ready to embark on a journey to a stronger, healthier, and happier marriage, this book is an excellent resource to help you achieve it. The book releases on April 13, but you can pre-order your copy here.
Contact our MFL team for marriage support anytime.
Your Marriage, Family and Life Team